Showing posts with label wasting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wasting. Show all posts

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Liberty is 24

       A reboot of a mostly complete history of Liberty’s medical conditions.   What’s been left out is the laughing and joy with splashes of gnashing and wailing along with misplaced guilt and hope. 

        2007-Liberty was normal and healthy through the age of nine. At this age, she had three seizures starting that summer and ending within that year.  The first one was the night after we arrived home from a family camping trip to Southern Utah.  

        2007-2009 lots of tests in Amarillo, and then Lubbock, to verify and find the cause of these seizures.   They simply went away as many undiagnosed seizure disorders do in preadolescents. 

         Life rolled on ebbing and flowing through her upper elementary years.

        2011- In the spring we noticed Libby’s handwriting getting harder and harder to read.  We also noticed that her speech was changing.   We assumed that she was lacking confidence as her world was changing; the loss of her grandfather and her sister getting ready to graduate. 
          We got her into voice lessons and really started paying closer attention to our little one.  
        2011- In the fall she passed her physical fitness test and her yearly physical.   She started her menstrual cycle. Life started our great.  
          She starting stumbling and falling.    Was sneaking the bendy straws and spoons with her lunch.  Her handwriting was mostly illegible, and her grades were low.  Her locker and backpack were a complete mess.   We requested testing for learning disabilities thinking that those seizures could have messed up her wiring.   Or something else.   
           October 2, the diagnostician called on my way home. She had completed the testing and told me that she believed there was something medically wrong.  We were encouraged to take Libby to a doctor.    We did just that.  
             Libby collapsed walking home from school.   Neighbors witnessed the fall; her legs quit working.  Fastest drive from Caprock to Happy ever.  
             We went from a family doctor to NWTH, to Lubbock Children’s for lots of testing and no answers.   The Lubbock doctor said he didn’t know what was happening, but it was severe.  Libby’s motor skills were degenerating as if she had a traumatic brain injury.  We were referred to Cook Children’s in Ft. Worth.  
              Libby was no longer feeding or bathing herself.  We were helping her dress.  She couldn’t be left sitting alone.  
             November- first visit and the first round of doctors scheduled a few basic tests and scheduled us to return in a week.   We did.  We drove home and decorated our house for Christmas.    I didn’t want to return home and not have that tradition glowingly greeting us.   
               Libby was checked into the hospital and there we stayed for ten days.  A few things they tested for were: MS, ALS, HIV, cancers, Huntington’s, Wilson’s, Cerebral Palsy, and Muscular Dystrophy.  Tests done included lots of blood work, scans, lumbar punctures, and a liver biopsy.  
             Libby continued to lose more and more of her faculties.   We were released with no answers about what was happening, but lots of info about what she didn’t have.  The doctor told us to get her baptized and prepare our family as they didn’t know what was happening.  
            We drove home on Thanksgiving Day and shared chicken nuggets from Allsups.  

         We tried to keep her happy, but she is a little wolf girl in captivity.   She does not flourish in the hospitals. 


             One test was completed in Amarillo on order from our new doctor: eye scans. It was the eye doctor who also tested for Cat Scratch Fever, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, and Lyme.   The Lyme came back positive. That is and remains the only positive test result we have ever received.   There was never a bulls-eye rash, nor any flu symptoms. 
 
           2021- January finds us celebrating our little one. She now has the neurological and muscular diagnoses of secondary Parkinson’s, Bladder sphincter dyssynergia, 
dystonia, spasticity, ataxia,  speech apraxia, and currently wasting.   
 
            She has been on a five pill-a-day schedule for years; her main one is the Parkinson’s drug.    She has a baclofen pump, as of last Thanksgiving.   And Deep Brain Stimulator which we charge every other day.   
           As of Thanksgiving 2019, she has a gastric feeding tube to combat her wasting.  She can swallow some very soft foods, but chewing solid or crunchy foods, along with soupy foods doesn’t do well. Because of her spasticity and dystonia, she is burning many more calories than we can get into her by mouth, so we use the feeding tube several times a day.  Her weight had been steady for almost a year. 




            We’ve tried lots of things including physical and occupational therapy, clean eating, weighted blanket, and even blessed water.  At our doctor’s suggestion, we gave up on the Botox injections.  She was getting such high doses without any discernible relief.  Libby’s body continues to stiffen and struggle.  
          We now know that her conditions are all progressive and degenerative.  Our biggest fights are wasting and spasticity.  Her ability to say full words has dissipated.  She can sometimes say one-syllable words like “hi” or “no,” or vocalize the beginning of words.  
            Yet, our songbird continues to hum along and somewhat sing to so many songs.  Most of the time, she can squeal, laugh, and fuss.  Grateful to have some communication with her. 

           Nothing is promised.   Sometimes bad things happen for no reason.   Every day we are blessed.   This is our bonus time with her and ourselves.   One day we may know exactly when she got the bite or where, but I doubt it.  I won’t hang my hat on that kind of answer.   Instead, I will focus on how well I’ve taken care of her and how happy she is.    

             Be blessed and realize your blessings.   Love you all. 
            

Friday, August 16, 2019

Swimming against the tide

If you’ve ever been swimming in open water you know the sensation as you wade into the water.   Deeper and deeper you walk forward anticipating the moment you become weightless and the water carries you.  Whether there is a tide or not, the water takes over some degree of control.  Even the strongest of swimmers can be swept away unexpectedly.    

Arms pulling forward and legs kicking for and against the tide to advance towards your destination an agreement between you and the water is found. With practice breathing only adds to the rhythmic action of the swim.  Pull, pull, breathe.  Pull, pull, breathe.   Forward I go.   

During some swims I can cometely zone out of the lists of to do’s and issues to conquer.  Other times the current, or an errant ball from a group of little swimmers,  takes me out of my reverie catching me   off guard.   Breathing and swim strokes are disrupted.    Reality returns and I lose my breath.      I already have too much reality.  

This long distance swim, waiting for and knowing a rip tide can pull you under any time, IS life with Liberty.   

I started back to school two weeks ago and my students  started Tuesday.  It has been amazing to start getting to know this brilliant group of people.  I am already excited to see them every day.   

We’ve been just rolling on until yesterday  afternoon when something happened with her feeding tube.  I flushed it and changed the dressing.   Seemed mostly okay.  We went about our errands and finally made it home for shower and nite-nite.  

This morning I couldn’t get the formula to go into her  tube.  The feeding tube was no longer placed correctly and has dislodged.  Instead of going and teaching the first Friday of this school year I brought her to the ER.    

No matter how strong of a swimmer I am I can never seem to anticipate the waves.  I can calculate the crazy effect of the full moon on the tides, but not the effect of having Liberty. 

Here’s the cyclonic issue: is it worth replacing the tube again?    This will be the fourth time since last Thanksgiving.  It isn’t fun holding Libby through each replacement.   Hoping and praying that once again they can simply trace the last track and put in a new feeding tube. Praying for  a few more extra calories for this day.  A few more.  The singular  upside is that her weight has been fairly stable since March.  






I’ve had some very difficult and honest conversations with her primary care doctor in the last six months.   Since there are no cases exactly like hers there are no maps to follow.   Have been advised to keep her happy and as healthy as possible... And to make sure our Power of Attorney covers a DNR.   I will ensure Libby’s happiness and comfort every  moment I can.   

Can’t train enough to be prepared for any of this really.   Just have to continue to be the best swimmer possible.   And push to keep swimming.  

Because they were going to have to change the size of Libby’s tube, they had to sedate her. She now has a shiny new tube and we are exhausted.    Time to continue the swim. 

Love to all
Ileana 

Thursday, April 25, 2019

The Escape of Tubi Wan

Let me tell you about a day we had this week.  This, like so much of our life, is not for the prude, nor the faint of heart...

Beautiful Thursday morning where I overslept and missed my early morning workout.   I was off campus in the afternoon for a meeting at Amarillo College and was able to pick Libby up little earlier than normal.  (I’m always excited if I can get her early.)
   At 4:40 we arrived  at the house and since it’s a Thursday I got her into the shower and prepared her for the poop assistance she gets on a very regulated schedule.  
  Bathing Libby sucks.  It just does. It has for years.  A good shower means that she will only cry a little and be mostly compliant- a conscientious objector limp limbs and all.  A bad shower means snot and drool induced wailing to the decibel that I am sure will one day get authorities called in.  This day she was medium level crying.  I’ll take that. 
  Showers are important not only to get her grownup smells taken care of, but also because  I need this time to get an overall inventory of her body and note the changes. 
  Usually I can get her showered, onto her potty chair, mostly dried off and at least a shirt on before the poop fest ensues.  This also gives me a chance to change the dressing and tape around her feeding tube.  I leave the tube covered and taped while showering. This was not usual. 

  As I started changing the dressing I noticed  a lot of extra ooziness.  A lot.  Then I realized that there was a lump under her tape.  It was the balloon that’s supposed to keep the dang tube inside of her precious belly.   
  Her tube was out- AGAIN. I don’t know if taking the tape off hurt more or she felt her belly, but now she is ugly crying, and it is a blood and belly ooze palooza.  

   She doesn’t stay safely on her potty chair by herself for very long. I tried to cover the belly hole a little and put a  gait belt on her.  Then I ran into the kitchen and got out the emergency “tool” box.   Grabbed extra gauze, peroxide since there wasn’t any rubbing alcohol, and a straight pin.   I washed off the tube and pin with hot water, peroxide and lots more water.   
   I ran back into the bathroom where she has continued her show stopping aria- rightly so.  The ooze palooza had abated a bit and I get the belly hole cleaned up a bit.    Then I squish the feeding tube’s balloon, pop it with the pin, squish it some more and try to guide the tube back into its tunnel into my kid’s stomach.   (I didn’t have the right syringe to deflate the tube’s balloon.) 



   It took several tries,  and Libby was not best pleased.  I used my left arm to hold her left arm and torso back while I eventually got the feeding tube back.   It- went- back- in.  Pulled a bra on her, a shirt and grabbed a feeding syringe to see if we are in luck.   Amazingly, her tube flushed perfectly.  No extra fluids squirted out, and the tube stayed in!   I taped the bejesus out that tube entry point and tried to get pre-scheduled poop out of the way.   Seriously laughed out loud.   After the pooping she calmed down. 
  Right at 5:00  I had started making the necessary phone calls to her primary care doctor, then her surgeon and then the appropriate ER.  Primary care doctor said to take her in after calling the surgeon.  
   I fed her the solid food dinner that we put into the oven when we got home between getting her fully dressed, packing up pills, my school bag, change of clothes for her and her feed supplies. We were loaded into the van.  Then Grandma Linda and Jennifer showed up.   Jennifer was bringing the kids to Happy for the the weekend and Linda was coming over to help out for the evening.    I tried to explain what was happening and we hit the highway.  We were fifteen minutes north of Happy when the surgeon called back.  
  He was happy that I got the tube back in and that it flushed successfully.  As long as it works and there are no issues we didn’t have to go to the ER.  Awesome.    We turned around and headed home.    
  We were home by 5:30, and  I had a little cleaning to get done.  Rachael swims on Thursday evening and gets home around 7:00.  I’m glad she missed the palooza part of our afternoon.  I filled her in while she was on her way home.   
   I’m grateful the tube went back in and has been behaving thus far.   We are two days away from this spectacular happening, and it still cracks me up.  
   The moral for me is to not over sleep.   But seriously, Libby’s belly could have its own sitcom.  

Libby is still dropping weight, but not as fast.   She’s getting around 1000 calories a day just through her tube.  We try to get her to eat as much real food as possible.  So the tube saga continues on.   She needs the nutrition and fluids the tube gives her.   I will need to make a surgical appointment at some point to get a new tube in.   I hope we can wait awhile and let her belly hole get over it’s recent aggravation.  We got lucky this time.  Nah, we’re continually blessed.  

Love to all.