Kaizen

       Life with a loved one with medical, emotional and cognitive needs is often challenging.  Often rough. There are so many little things I find myself explaining that are sad, and overwhelming and well, too much to think about for so many people.  For many others and my friends, it is too much, but it’s also so much of my life.  I know it’s hard on some of your hearts to continue to be my friend.

     

      I’ve used the allegory of the boiled frogs before, yet it still works today. We’re so busy doing what we need to do, that rarely do I realize how hard, inconvenient, and well, kind of sad the mechanics of life with Libby can be. We don’t realize because we’re insulated in the pan. 

      We know, based on the neurologists, that Libby’s neurological and physical effects are progressive degenerative.  That water will only keep getting hotter.  

       In my mind, there are two choices to living as a boiled frog: give up and let the water take me or  swim against current.   I choose to swim against.  I choose to try to be a better person every day, and I fail all the time. But I try. I keep trying to be the mom and teacher and friend I need to be.  

      This is partially why I have delighted in learning of the Japanese concept of continuously improving.   (Generally, this idea is used for the push to always work to make your business better.)  To me, it is a new mantra to simply move forward and find ways to be better.  

Better mom. 

Better teacher. 

Better friend. 

Better wife. 

Just better.  I know there are so many reasons to quit.  To ignore the medical possibilities.  To possibly wallow in the “give up already and just accept everything the way it is” type thinking, but I can’t.  I can’t.  It’s not comfortable. Complacency hurts.  

      

       Every time I allow that negativity in, I can feel my already anxiety and depressive brain pulling me down.  One way to keep myself from being pulled down it to think about my beliefs. 

Here’s a partial list of core beliefs that guide me: 

I believe we are called to love and love and love.  

I believe there is always a way to be better or something else to try. 

I believe my God wouldn’t put all of this on my “plate” if I couldn’t handle it.  

I believe that whatever the new challenge is coming at us will be a chance for me to choose growth and hope. 

I believe we have many opportunities to share our Joy and through that help others carry their Sad. 

I believe that life is hard and yet, still beautiful.  We are not called to give up.  

I believe to love and accept completely and openly with no hope for reciprocity. 

I believe I can do better with my God with me. 

For these and many more reasons I believe in Kaizen. A need to keep trying to be better.  And grow.  And learn. And fail and try and fail and believe. And get up again.  Laugh at failing, sleep, learn and try again. 

     We’re all on our path and possibly in our own boiling pot.  We weren’t put here to be mediocre or complacent, but to be a help to those around us and to ourself.  I am very grateful for the friends and family who can handle discussing the challenges that come with Liberty.   That is a gift. 

      So I’ll make a list of what I can improve on and what needs doing; then I’ll try again.  And work to be a little better everyday, pray and do the work needed. 

https://music.apple.com/us/album/better-days/1541590129?i=1541590131

    Just a little better.  A little stronger. Everyday.  Kaizen.