Baby monitors are a mixture of good and evil. Good is that I can hear when Libby is really upset.
Bad is that she knows we come running- even if it is because her arm is cold, or she misses the cat that died 13 years ago, or I wasn't home earlier and she just missed me so something hurts. The trick with our kid seems to be figuring out what she really needs versus what she's summoning us for.
This is true with all of us. We use various systems to monitor each other and to reach out. Phones, emails, Facebook, blogs, Instagram, Twitter and the antiquated letter. Whether we realize it or not, it is human instinct to reach out when something is amiss, even if we don't know what that dis-ordered ick is. So many of us are walking around and if we had a baby monitor attached we'd be beeping like crazy.
Some eat. Some shop. Some give every minute to others to avoid their ick. Some work out. I create.
School let out last Friday. Beep. On Friday I learned of my new teaching position. Beep. I began teaching Summer school Monday. Beep. Many people are joining us in Ft. Worth to support us for the surgery. Beep. Money. Beep.
I have been in a manic phase for the last month of school because I knew that I had to get my world in order before Libby's DBS implantation surgery. There is little in the house or classroom that I haven't organized, cleaned out, and/or painted.
Rachael, ever patient with me, asked yesterday if I was about done. Yes. Almost. I don't share the list in my mind since no one needs to know that I'm on contingency plan q for after Libby's surgery. Beep. Beep.
Want to know what my state of the union is? Ask how much I've been painting. Writing. It's like nesting only a middle aged version of it.
So monitors are good and bad. I need to learn to pay attention to mine. We all need to know our "beeps" and learn our ick coping strategies.
Share your beeps. Reach out. Reach in. Don't self destruct, that's easier than dealing most times.
(I am at peace with the DBS, it is not knowing what level we'll be leaving the hospital with that causes planning ahead.)
Blessings.
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