I admit that I have been more envious than ever before in the past few years. Friends with kids my age are taking trips, alone, as a couple. They've added on to their homes, not made theirs wheelchair accessible. They are able to dress according to desire and whimsy, not planning around the weather, Libby's ability or inability to move, and avoiding any shoes her wheel chair may run over. They are going browsing at stores, taking art classes, other such other-worldly stuff. In that far off pasture where the grass is shockingly green, they do stuff that I can't do. They are people I can't be. They live like I never have.
Envy is ugly and it doesn't look good on anyone. Other people don't have Libby and aren't continually blessed by Mariah's ability to overcome and be. Other people haven't learned many lifetime's worth of lessons with such a beautifully spirited teacher. I can't, we can't waste our energy wishing for and wanting what other people have. Comparisons deny the gifts and blessings you have.
Thursday, July 24 will be two weeks since Libby received her first programming session. There are many slight changes, little things that we are seeing that aren't predictable. Of course, this kid's never been predictable. I know that I am grateful that she made it through the brain stimulator implants almost a month ago.
I am grateful that the laundry list of possible side effects stepped by us. Libby was able to "swim" during our stay for my training. Hoping the DBS will ease her fear of falling and more of the Dystonic symptoms. 
Other people may be able to do so many other things that we cannot, but we are able to find moments to rejoice that are unexpected. Our life isn't less, it's just different.
She has been healing at such an amazing rate. I can't allow for envy to creep in when I have these smiles. One of our few moments of heading to the pool. Joy at there being a lift making it much more accessible.
Love people, and don't wear envy. Remember that your life is differently blessed.
No comments:
Post a Comment