More Construction

Part 2- Under Construction 

This long update is filled with broken roads I didn’t intend to go down.  

(It took me this much time to get a hold on my stupidity. Being embarrassed doesn’t cover it.)

Several weeks ago, Friday the 12th of April, I was in a small slow wreck downtown.  I don’t like to leave campus during the day, but I needed to get the race packet for a 5k I had registered for.  This was the first time I have driven downtown since I had another fender bender back on September 27th, 2023. As I was driving I was telling myself that “it’ll be okay and I won’t make the wrong turn again.”  

And damn it, I did just like that.  

The same damn blind spot on my left peripheral vision as I scraped the driver’s side door. The other lady’s car had a few scratches: she was so kind to me.  No one was hurt, but I was in shock.  I am sorry to have squandered other peoples time and the damage on her car.  It was a very slow, slow wreck.  I couldn’t even dial my emergency contacts for Mariah.  I managed to contact one of the principals, Mr. Saker, who came to help me.  I shook on and off for several hours into the night.  

Had to get help to call Mariah.  Having to call your daughter to tell her you’ve been in yet another fender bender isn’t great. 

I was embarrassed as who else could this happen to?    I mean seriously.  I was not on my phone or anything like that.  In the wreck in September, there was no one willing to help me to be had.  I felt greatly alone. 

This time I felt like I was surrounded by angels who just wanted to remind me that there is help around me. I am praying and delving into how this could have happened again with my therapist.  I am just so grateful, and still quite rattled.  The gentlemen who are working on my car reminded me that “sometimes shit just happens.”

I have struggled since the April the 12th with my self esteem.   I am capable of great things, so why did I do something so stupid?  (Glad to have a therapist to guide me.)

 I am in a rental until I get info about my Subaru.  I have been forcing myself to drive more and more  to get my anxiety under control  while I’m driving the rental. 

I am also going to an eye doctor and a full checkup just to make sure there isn’t something more going on with my eye sight. 

I promise I am trying to be careful every day, and every way. I am not a complete idiot: I promise.   Thank you for your friendship and support.