Michelle is my longest lasting friend. We met the day before we started school. My Grandma’s house was near one end of the block and Michelle’s house was on the other end. Stacy, another friend, joined us in early elementary. There were three of us coming up together in the same grade level. There were several others with a three block radius. Those blocks ends became our boundaries. Brook street was ours: our own book ends where safety was between the ends and being home before sundown.
Michelle’s house was a unicorn in my world; she had something rare as both of her parents lived in that house. What’s more, she had a grand, Mamie, cousins, aunts and uncles living in our city. (My family was a bit more scattered.) Stacy also has a wonderful extended family that we love(d). My 70’s didn’t see a lot of married couples raising their children. Michelle has a great brother that was a satellite in our girl world. He’s become an excellent man and successful teacher.
Michelle’s first born, Anthony and my Mariah are six months apart. We have paralleled throughout our lives.
Michelle’s mom and my Grandma worked in the cafeteria of our elementary, Rogers, and Stacy’s mom was a custodian at our middle school, Mann. To say there were eyes on us is a understatement. We came up together even though we all took very different paths.
And we’ve shared our lives together. Marriages, divorces, babies, birthdays and funerals. Michelle’s mom is one of the first calls I made when Grandma left us, and later that year when I told her we were moving my mom to Happy I called her again. Our moms kept track of each other, and us, in many ways. To be loved and supported by Stacy’s mom and Judy is an exceptional gift.
This world has lost another amazing human. Judy Perales was my second Mom. From her I learned how to work the tortillas, don a formal dress, straighten a room, and appreciate “white girl menudo” which is menudo without the tongue. Judy made sure I was included and involved in so many ways. If we couldn’t afford it, she paid- didn’t know that until later in life. They brought me with them on trips to Mexico, skating, the Mall and Wonderland- to name a few. I learned patience and directness watching her with her husband, Junior, Michelle and all of us. I leaned how to be there for my own kids and show up for my daughter’s friends because of her.
One summer I had been away with my mom. When I got home I discovered that my bedroom at Grandma’s had been cleaned, painted and organized. It was lovely. This was proof that I was still their friend and worthy of such a lovely kindness.
Another time, I made a comment about my weight and Judy stopped me and told me that I needed to be healthy while not letting what others say about me get to me.
Judy has made sure to come to our big celebrations and fundraisers. Even into last year she has been an important part of our lives.
For these reasons and many more, I am beyond sad due to the loss of Judy. This world has lost a great, funny, sarcastic woman in Judy Perales. I am grateful for the love, lessons, and inclusion she shared with me.
Michelle, thank you for sharing your mom with me all these years. I am beyond grateful for you. I’m sorry I can’t carry this pain for you. Grief is a rocky ride and I pray you feel your mother’s immense love for you and the strength of those who love you every day. Love you!
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