Seasons

       Five weeks into the school year and we are trotting along. The leaves are turning early,  joining the weather that has cooled everything down with long rainy days.  Wildflowers and allergies are in bloom.  Smacking of normalcy, we have papers to read, house to clean, and volunteer events to organize. And now, to finish cleaning out mom's house.  

       Four weeks ago mom fell and broke the top of her humerus.  Progressing through the hospital CCU, then the floor and finally a rehab focused nursing home, she has been away from her Happy house for awhile. The doctors wanted to keep her for a minimum of 21 days, and she made it 14.  Wish she would have played nice while in the rehab; she remains unabashedly stubborn to a fault and if she doesn't want to do something- she won't.  Period.  There is something awe inspiring about that kind of determination.  If there were an Olympic contrarian marathon she'd win.  Sorry friends, these are the genes I've been given. You can laugh now. 

       We moved her to her little house in Happy 17 months ago.  To my knowledge this is the only time she has ever lived by herself.  There were amazing moments of clarity, during this time, where she experienced some happiness in her independence.    And lots of other moments.  Now I will have to wonder if I have done enough.  Have I done right by her?  I know I tried.    I certainly tried and I did-

      The time has come to where my mom finally realizes that she cannot live alone.   She needs constant and consistent care with people who can convince her that having meds organized and going to doctor appointments are necessary.  Wonderful people who are willing and able to be patient.  Gratefully, my brother, David, and his beautiful wife, Mirtha, are welcoming mom into their home.   

      We've packed her house and organized what she needs and wants with her and what we can store.  All that remains is the cleaning.   The cleaning and the hope that she will find some happiness.   

      This time of year will forever be changed for me as it is when I will let go of mom.   I don't remember a time I wasn't worrying, caring, doing, nagging, and/or arguing with her. She pushed me over twelve years ago to get a burial plan and policy started.  It helps knowing that is taken care of; especially knowing she wanted it settled.  She isn't my biggest fan, but she loves me in her way, and would move mountains if I needed her to.  With a smile I can say that this whole obstinate thing isn't new.  

    This is the time of orange and deep green as the leaves mimic my life. All is changed now.  A  season begins for my brother and ends for me.