My plate

I would not trade anyone's plate for my own.   Ever.  Can't even ask for this "cup

to pass" without me.

I know everyday that I am blessed beyond measure and will always do more than is possible. 

Let's discuss the plate I carry. 

So, we are fighting multiple side effects with Liberty's progressing conditions.  We go back on December 5 for Botox and to turn up her battery charges.

 Who knows what will happen after that.  I believe the she will be able to lossen up more.  The DBS is a treatment and a dealing technique 

Not

A 

Cure.   

Her ongoing treatment will be a balance of medications, DBS alterations and Botox.    And SHE needs therapy outside of school.  She needs it. Her last place won't return my calls. We face pressure sores from sitting and lack of positioning changes.   Working on that one.      She needs bladder control and ability to swallow fluids on a predictable basis. She needs so much.    

Next- 

My beloved grandmother is now in a nursing home. I lack the words to be able to process this situation. Grandmother is enjoying her socializing at the home and it is a beautiful place.   My aunt Judy is doing everything she can to keep grandmother happy and safe. 

My mother and grandmother have lived together for many years. My mother's health has declined in such a manner that she hasn't been able to take care of grandmother for awhile now.   Mom refuses medical care and help. Her fears over what is going wrong with her body have caused her own self neglect. 

Grandmother worries constantly about my mom and wants to go back to her home.  But she can't.  The house isn't safe for either if them.  It is not wheelchair accessible; DARS and APS have already been there.  My mom could go to a home, and yet she refuses to discuss it.  She can't afford to stay in that house, which breaks my heart.  I can't afford to do much.  I have plans to find some extra money somewhere.  There is little I can do except make the weekly visits and offer to do whatever is needed.  This level of guilt makes it hard to breathe. 

This weekend I pulled a surprise get a away for Rachael and her 40th birthday. Her birthday always gets the shafted.  We either have doctor appointments in Ft. Worth, no money because of doctor visits, or it gets lumped together with everyone else's.   She is selfless and doesn't complain, she just has no expectations.   

The party was fabulous and I am grateful to everyone who helped

With the food, decorations, gifts and conversations. 

 

I started in August, after a training in Dallas, planning and putting money back to enable her to have a two night stay at a hotel, the second night was the surprise party with friends and family. This meant some careful monetary planning. We were also going to have a night alone which didn't happen, but it will soon. All relationship accounts need input, even ours.  I will be hiring a nurse very soon. 

There's Mariah, family, work, a dissertation, the animals, and so much more to keep balanced on my plate. 

Just know this- I picked up this plate, or was chosen for it- so I will continue to carry it.  Please don't say to people that they "have enough on their plate", because then it feels like I must not be doing something right since I try to handle everything else.   I'm carrying the plate, everyone will know when it's too heavy. Then there would be a crash.   And I'll go right back to picking up hope.