Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Eight Years

        A brief and mostly complete history.  What’s been left out is the laughing and praying with splashes of gnashing and wailing.   

        2007-Liberty was normal and healthy through the age of nine. At this age she had three seizures starting that summer and ending within that year.  The first one was the night after we arrived home from a family camping trip to Southern Utah.  

        2007-2009 lots of tests in Amarillo, and then Lubbock, to verify and find the cause of these seizures.   They simply went away as many undiagnosed seizure disorders do in preadolescents. 

         Life rolled on ebbing and flowing through her upper elementary years.

        2011- In the spring we noticed Libby’s handwriting getting harder and harder to read.  We also noticed that her speech was changing.   We assumed that she was lacking confidence as her world was changing; the  loss of her grandfather and her sister getting ready to graduate. 
          We got her into voice lessons and really started paying closer attention to our little one.  
        2011- In the fall she passed her physical fitness test, and her yearly physical.   She started her menstrual cycle. Life started our great.  
          She starting stumbling and falling.    Was sneaking the bendy straws and spoons with her lunch.  Her handwriting was mostly illegible, and her grades were low.  Her locker and backpack were a complete mess.   We requested testing for learning disabilities thinking that those seizures could have messed up her wiring.   Or something else.   
           October 2, the diagnostician called on my way home. She had completed the testing and told me that she believed there was something medically wrong.  We were encouraged to take Libby to a doctor.    We did just that.  
             Libby collapsed walking home from school.   Neighbors witnessed the fall; her legs quit working.  Fastest drive from Caprock to Happy ever.  
             We went from family doctor, to NWTH, to Lubbock Children’s for lots of testing and no answers.   The Lubbock doctor said he didn’t know what was happening, but it was severe.  Libby’s motor skills were degenerating as if she had a traumatic brain injury.  We were referred to Cook Children’s in Ft. Worth.  
              Libby was no longer feeding or bathing herself.  We  were helping her dress.  She couldn’t be left sitting alone.  
             November- first visit and first round of doctors scheduled a few basic tests and scheduled us to return in a week.   We did.  We drove home, and decorated our house for Christmas.    I didn’t want to return home and not have that tradition glowingly greeting us.   
               Libby was checked into the hospital and there we stayed for ten days.  A few things they  tested for were: MS, ALS, HIV, cancers, Huntington’s, Wilson’s, Cerebral Palsy, and Muscular Dystrophy.  Tests done included lots of blood work, scans, lumbar punctures and a liver biopsy.  
             Libby continued to lose more and more of her faculties.   We were released with no answers about what was happening, but lots of info about what she didn’t have.  The doctor told us to get her baptized and prepare our family as they didn’t know what was happening.  
            We drove home on Thanksgiving Day.  Ate chicken nuggets from an Allsups.  

         We tried to keep her happy, but she a little wolf girl in captivity.   She does not flourish in the hospitals. 


             One test was completed in Amarillo on order from our new doctor: eye scans. It was the eye doctor who also tested for Cat Scratch Fever, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, and Lyme.   The Lyme came back positive. That is and remains the only positive test result we have ever received.   There was never a bulls eye rash, nor flu symptoms. 
 
           2017- November finds us clinging to our little one. She now has the neurological and muscular diagnoses of Parkinson’s, Bladder sphincter dyssynergia, 
dystonia, spasticity, ataxia and speech apraxia.   
 
            She has been on a five pill a day schedule for years; her main one is the Parkinson’s drug.    She has a baclofen pump, as of last Thanksgiving.   And Deep Brain Stimulator which we charge about every other day.    

            We’ve tried lots of things including physical and occupational therapy, clean eating, weighted blanket, and even blessed water.   Libby’s body continues to stiffen and struggle.  

         This Thanksgiving I will cook all the stuff and put up all the decorations.  I may even run the turkey trot.  I will relish every moment of this time.   This is the first time in these eight years that we haven’t been going to or driving back from Ft. Worth. The first time.  

           Nothing is promised.   Sometimes bad things happen for no reason.   Everyday we are blessed.   This is our bonus time with her and ourselves.   One day we may know exactly when she got the bite or where, but I doubt it.  I won’t hang my hat on that kind of answer.   Instead, I will focus on how well I’ve taken care of her and how happy she is.    

             Be blessed and realize your blessings.   Love you all. 
            

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Stretching

Hugged between Halloween and Christmas, November has been a rough month for us for many years.   Every year we have had surgery, scheduled and unscheduled appointments in Ft. Worth off set to our classroom responsibilities.   November brings us both Rachael and Jasmine’s birthdays and of course Thanksgiving.  

This year, this semester, the past thirty days have been exceedingly stressful.  Ongoing issues with Liberty’s health coverage and missing or wrong or late paperwork has caused  parts of my world to come apart.   For over three weeks our attendants were not being paid.  I didn’t know from day to day whether or not the attendants would be able to take care of Libby so I could go to work.  Stress.   

Here’s one truth: there is no place for me to take Liberty during the day unless it we take her to an individual.  There is no “day care” for Libby.  Another truth: she can’t stay home everyday as it would not bode well for her health.   Think of anyone you know who is disabled and how quickly their body devolves once they begin staying home everyday. Libby, like many others, thrives on her interactions with people.   We have to keep pushing her to keep going with us.  

Libby has never been stiffer.  She is getting her relief pills before she gets out of bed as she is so stiff that I struggle to get her clothes on.  Her DBS battery checks out normal and everything that we can control is normal.   We know that the effectiveness of the Botox she has been getting for years is waning.   As her conditions progress we are to expect her be more and more rigid.  We have to keep her moving.  We go
for a visit in December.      

Two weeks ago we lost the amazing Tatum Schulte and Brandi Wilkinson.  The very young and brave Tatum had been battling cancer for several years with a bravado that is hard to find.  We didn’t know this young lady except through prayer chains and awareness posts.  The ever talented Brandi was a student of mine who I loved dearly.  Dearly.  She was a part of a very special group of writers who were in our Spoken Word poetry group.  The loss of these young ladies hit me in ways I can’t explain.   There is no rhyme or reason when these things happen.  We have been blessed to keep Libby with us for many years past what the doctors predicted.  Continued prayers for these families and friends. 

So, I’m not sure if hugging November is in order for me or not.   This year we are home for the big Turkey day- knocking on wood.  Want to run the Turkey trot, watch the parade, bake all the stuffs, eat a lot, and laugh with our beloveds. Want all the Christmas stuff up as we finish this semester.   Want to do, feel, see all of it. As we are surrounded by immeasurable blessings, we will be pushing the stressors away.   Knocking them down as we keep going and going.   Not only do we have to, but we GET to keep stretching ourselves.  That is part of our truth.