Perspective and tenacity

Rachael had planned a two night get away to Albuquerque several months ago.  We hadn't been able to go, just for fun, just for us, just to take care of a little business, and just smile in many years.   I have been so afraid of being that far away from medical coverage, our doctors, and our comfort that I didn't want to risk a frivolous trip.   

For over ten years we had been saving our change, with no specific purpose in mind, just saving it for some "rainy day".  This trip was our rainy day. We had enough to cover the hotel room and a meal or two. 

This drive up to Sandia Crest is one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen.  Tears flowed without reason as I was so happy to return. I definitely have a connection to this place.  

Libby was different while we were there.   She just soaked it in and kept saying that she "need to paint".  We asked her what she needed to paint and why and she finally shared something about "colors" and "inspired".   Okay.  So we will be painting.    She was so in love with the many murals and graffiti she saw all over the place. 

This picture was taken at the beautiful Civic Plaza where amazing things happen.  

I needed this time, though it was short and hard; I needed it.  Traveling with Libby is always difficult.  Traveling with her in two casts and heat made it extra trying.  She did try to be a trooper and then Princess Spoiled Butt would reappear.     

Never afraid to cross a bridge...

We have seen the mountain top and it was amazing! 

That view though...

My reflection is that objects in the rear view are closer and larger than they appear. The fear of taking steps forward, toward love and acceptance, has to be set aside.  Living life with fear guiding is not okay.  Not okay to me any longer. 

  The last five years and Liberty's illness was has changed me.  I am much less of a risk taker and have felt more fear.

We are dealing with completely new issues that are not related to her casts-that are breaking me.  Life isn't fair and having another part of her body under attack as we begin moving into adult life and college sucks.   It just sucks.  And it's not fair.    We don't ask for fair. We ask for ways around and a plan.

Can't go wrong with this kind of smile. 

Regardless of troubles and triumphs the sun still comes up tomorrow.   We, all parents, have to enjoy what we have  and keep moving forward.  Perspectives change, but tenacity doesn't. Tenacity I have. 

Leaping forward...toward regeneration