Lesson Three from the Big Q: Not a lot, but enough
(Or Maslow was Right)
In my world today, Maslow is completely right.
I could could go professional if worrying was a
sport. I think many of could. We know it’s
useless, but it’s something our brain can do
while so much is out of our control. It’s
difficult to be able to think through paying the
bills when I know we are low on toilet paper,
and I’ve gone to three stores over two days to
visit the empty shelves. (We're good now.) I can't
seem to grade when I'm worrying about my
students and their well being. It is almost
impossible to concentrate on lesson plans
when it's time to change Libby’s pull up and
give her meds while I’m worrying about whether
or not the supplies for her feeding tube will arrive
this week. (The supplies didn’t arrive yet, but we’re
alright for awhile.) I can clean, paint and reorganize
instead of dwelling on my worries about family
during the Q. I admit I spent two full days worrying
about the amount of wipes we have for Libby.
(We had three unopened wipe packages, not a lot,
but we have enough.)
How on earth can these students focus on any
lessons when they aren’t sure about their parents’
jobs, if they can stay in their house since they
are the only one working, what the status of their
scholarship is, loss of time with their friends, not to
mention the insanely important connection to their
boy/girl friend. There are also students who
are sequestered in a house which is negative,
toxic, or abusive. These and so many other things
are racing through my brain and theirs, meanwhile
I’m supposed to be sharing a wealth of knowledge
about poetry analysis and prepping them for an AP
exam. Yep. That fits.
Hand in hand with all of these worries there is
the loss we are dealing with, loss of the life we
had in so many ways. A new version of our lives
is on the way, but we do need to acknowledge
this loss.
We know that it is terribly hard to think anything
through when we are worried about our physiological
status and our safety. Here is a real picture of me
trying to follow a single thought and get something
done just about every day during the Big Q.
Here’s part of my plan since I need a plan. And
a list. An actual LIST- geez. Okay, three lists.
(I know my over-functioning anxiety response
is in full swing here. Just let me have my lists.)
And feel free to completely ignore these lists.
1. I started making a blessing list every morning
of at least three things. This is helping me focus
on what is good and that helps open some space
for everything else. It’s not a lot, but it is usually
enough to help me focus a bit.
2. I also list UP TO three things I am worried about.
Then I ask myself if I have any control over whatever
I am worrying about. If the answer is no, then I do
two things: Ask myself if I can help in any way and
ask my Higher Power to take that on for me. This
has allowed me to find some focus. Not a lot,
but enough.
3. I also list three things I can do that day that
will make me feel better about myself or my
surroundings. For me, this usually involves
physical movement and sweat. OR putting
up the laundry or the dishes once they're clean.
It doesn’t have to be a lot, because we are all
in a prolonged stress response. Think about
the fight or flight response that continues for
weeks and weeks due to uncertainty and fear
of the unknown. What positive steps we make
for ourselves or our surroundings don’t have to
be a lot as they are enough.
You are doing an amazing job of coping in this
changed world. I cannot tell what is coming in our
future, but I can tell you that we will be okay. The
one thing I know is that there is plenty of love.
WE can make sure there is enough LOVE to go
around for ourselves, our family, our chosen tribes,
and those who challenge us. May not think it is a
lot, but it is enough.
(Soon enough it will be time for action, but first
let's stay safe during the Q and focus on loving.)
