Goals and Gifts

After the shock of Libby's 18th birthday and the amount of work to be done in order to get her into college, I asked Libby what her goal was for the rest of the year.  (This is after the challenges of SSDI, modifications, and accessibility hit me like a circus train full of elephants.) She responded that she wanted to dance at her prom and walk the stage at graduation.  So, we have been pushing her more and more to strengthen her legs and trunk. The ability to walk more and correct her body positions more has been enhanced since the DBS increase and the Botox at the start of March.  

We pushed her goal over Spring Break and starting this week I left her wheel chair at school and walked her to the car.  The next morning she walked to her class.  And repeat.   Tonight she walked, always with assistance, into Walmart. We have to push her because she still gets no therapy outside of school; I hope that this will change over the summer.  It's a challenge for my body as well as hers, but her goals match mine for her and I know it will be worth it. Moving her and stretching her more it is.   I'll add some Tylenol.  

An amazing young man, Jake, has asked Libby to go to prom.   He is smart, sweet and truly one of the kindest people I've met. 

His mom, Eliza, has been an ASL

Interpreter in my classes for many years. She, and her family, have known Libby since before the Lyme disease changed our lives.  

She thinks he's very handsome and squeals every time he is mentioned.  She is beyond excited to go to prom, show off her dress, dance, and have a date.  

 

**Disclaimer-- I have loved this school for over 13 years.  Since I first stepped foot on the campus.  We have made choices and sacrifices so that I can work at this school 35 miles away from the home I also love.**

Unknown to me a group of seniors started an Instagram and Twitter campaign to nominate and elect Libby as Prom Queen   Uhmmmmmm, what?  Totally unexpected and something I would never even say outloud that would be thought of, much less dreamt of.   Today was the voting, ironically through English classes, and I was humbled throughout the day. 

Since I heard about this whole Queen thing I've been afraid. I didn't want my precious pearl to become a joke or to be used period.   So afraid and protective that I haven't even told her that she has been nominated.  Talking to my students I have been even more humbled and amazed by them than ever.   I was told about how Libby always shares her smile, sings, and laughs with her peers.   They have lived through the last four years watching her walk into Caprock as a Freshmen and then become almost chair bound.  They have lived through her tests, scary surgeries, and the painfilled progression of this terrible disease. Libby is theirs and she claims them.  When a kid waves at her she always tells me "my friend" and then fills me in on what class she has with them.   I have learned to love all of these kids through her eyes and heard from Libby when a student was upset and failing, or excited and thriving.   

Because of these amazing students, Libby has been able to try many things knowing that she had their support.  Even when her body shuts down and her speech leaves her, she still has other kids who don't give up. Because of these scholars and future leaders she has been given an amazing gift- acceptance of her regardless of her abilities or disabilities.   Whether she is elected or not, Libby will be filled with joy simply hearing her name called out at her senior prom.  

This day, this chance that before her body was attacked wasn't guaranteed and I would have taken her prom for granted.  I am so full of awe and gratitude that I cannot even process what these kids have chosen to do.   

This school is a high poverty school with a high percentage of students of color and these are the ones who have chosen to allow two who would be generally overlooked to shine.   One of the boys nominated also has some challenges and is well known as one of the kindest and funniest people on campus.   They have chosen to give these kids a chance.  Admiration and appreciation don't cover it. Already such an amazing gift.  I love my children, biological and claimed.  They are all mine and Lord knows they have my heart.  

Meanwhile, there are several weeks of high stakes tests and lesson plans and life until the prom.   Lots of planning to be done!   Never underestimate the kindness of people. Simply amazed. What a gift it is to do what I love with such amazing students. 

Choosing, adding, and a bit of the everything else

It seems as if the balancing between mothering my children, other children, broken adults, and my four-legged children is a heavier struggle as of late.  I have to hope and believe that my biological children, and all others, know that I love and support them. Being kids of a teacher means that you share your mom with many.  I try to think that it isn't an act of choosing between, but is an act of adding to. Thinking along these lines I adore all my kids and I hope they know that I love them and expect greatness in return.  One of amazing students painted this for my classroom.  I am so blessed! 

Last Wednesday we drove to Ft.Worth for a Botox treatment and DBS programming.  The weather was interesting, as a snow storm followed us all the way down.  

Because Dr.A was adding injections into Libby's feet, the soles, she was sedated for the Botox injections. Trying to relax so that her Parkinson's toe walk will be more like a flat footed strut. He also treated the huge knot on her neck as holding her head upright remains challenging. We have been battling some skin breakdown on various places on her head and neck because of her head constantly  laying to the side. Along with neck injections comes the chance of swallowing  issues which we are facing now.  Monitoring every bite and thickening her drinks to make sure she doesn't aspirate. It's a balancing act of medications, DBS changes, and Botox. He did increase the power going through her DBS and we have seen a larger range of motion already.   I really wish we had her in more physical therapy, but too late to change the schedule now.

We also grabbed her prom dress while in Ft. Worth.  We are keeping the dress under wraps until the prom. Her goals are to dance at her prom and walk the stage at graduation. 

We made it home on Friday, March 6 and Saturday Libby had art competition and I had AP scoring training.  It was a lot to push for after a doctor trip, but Libby insisted in staying through until the awards ceremony.  

Here is her art displayed, not the one with the mask, the three dimensional piece titled "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Art". 

Here's a better shot of it. 

This one is titled "Hope".  I love that both of her art teachers have found ways to help Libby make her own marks on the page. Grateful.  Oh, and she got two gold medals.  She's may have glowed for several days. 

On Sunday morning, our beloved cat, Jar Jar Binx passed away. He had waited until we made it back.  He is missed by his two and four legged family. 

Now it is Spring Break and I think we all need this time so desperately.  I haven't been able to fully process everything has happened and need to work through some grief of various kinds.   

Missing my Grandmother and unable to find a way to get my mom into a safe and healthy environment.  I will take all the blame if she would just let us get her into a safe place.   So many painful decisions have to be made very soon. 

We are also making the appointments to get Libby into college and figuring out how that will work. She has goals and dreams that we will support as best as we can.  The paperwork and obstacles are full of learning opportunities (pardon the bit of sarcasm). 

This weekend we are focussing on eating and sleeping, and a little ride in the country.  Time to recharge. 

I'll not be choosing but will continue to add to.  My heart grows bigger and makes more and more room for so much love and gratitude.   There is still so much to do and I know that with a little rest we will be ready.