New Balance: Lagom

Rachael and I returned to working in the brick and

mortar classroom on our campuses. We have been

training, collaborating, planning, and researching.

We are organizing, cleaning out, and arranging

student seats. We are re-imagining, re-learning,

re-trying, and re-tooling education. We are comparing

masks and how to keep our glasses from fogging

and our nostrils from drying out.  This is a relentlessly

stress filled, overwhelming time for teachers and yet

it’s exciting! Nevertheless, it is good to be on campus

with my peers preparing for my future Loves to join us.

My fellow teachers, administrators, and staff bless

me every day and make me a better person. 

The flip side of this is that I am not with Libby every

day now.  I am at school and she is either with Mariah

or Jennifer depending on the day. This is hard as I have

not ever had the chance to spend this much time with

either of my children. I have spent my parenting years

working at least one job and going to school for my own education.  I lost a lot of time with my girls.

The last five months have been challenging

and a great blessing. I didn't get to see Mariah as much,

but we were able to talk more. There are many other words to convey what this time meant for me, but words fail me.Truly a stressful godsend to have that time with her.  She is now up several pounds and has filled out quite a bit! She is even wearing some adult-sized clothes again.  

After her drastic weight loss a year and a half ago, I went through her clothes but held on to many that I hoped she would gain back the weight needed.  That alone is wonderful as we have scaled back on the number of tube feedings she gets in a day. She got her tube replaced last week and we were lucky to get her in when we did- right before the tube popped out.   I'll continue to monitor her intake and struggles with Parkinson's swallow to adjust her caloric

intake as needed.

The stress is real in the land of education. The level of uncertainty as we create new norms in education is real and overwhelming. The cognitive load is great and overwhelming. Yet, we will preserver. We will learn and adapt and do what is needed for our students, parents and peers.

Beautiful teachers stay strong. We can do this.

To all reading this please that you are loved and are worth far more than you know. 

Ileana

Side effects birth Mary Tubaca

Libby had her Botox on November 8. By November 16 she was having immense swallowing issues. We knew this was a

possible side effect, so we had moved to smoothies and swallowing bites with pudding. November 18, I called the docs and the speech therapists. Libby had a small swallow study on Tuesday that didn't go well. Even though we knew that Libby can only have pudding consistency, the therapist freaked out when Libby aspirated with applesauce. Ugh.

We did the dutiful thing and called the docs in Wednesday and got her in for her swallow study on Wednesday. We met a new Pediatrician on Thursday evening and Friday afternoon she had an NG tube implace. Libby spent the weekend pouting and refusing to smile and go to the restroom. She was listless and really not pleasant Sunday. She was excited to go to school and yet didn't want everyone to see her with her tube. 

Monday morning, November 25, she began throwing up before 10:00. By 11: something- she had honked out her tube. 

We were at the doc that afternoon- and checking into the hospital that evening for observation, a swallow study, tests and general poking around on my kid.  

(We've never stayed at this hospital even though it's only 45 miles away from our house.) 

No bad blood results.

Failed swallow study.

Nose tube instead of stomach tube. 

Doctors here and in Ft. Worth wanted to avoid possible scar tissue and infection for something that we believe will be temporary.  We wanted the tummy tube because we were already having some swallow issues and are planning in following through with some Botox several times a year.  The path that allowed for the least long term side effects won. 

We were home for Thanksgiving. Due to illnesses our meal Thursday was Mariah, Grandma Linda and us. We had Grandma Linda's meal, as is traditional, on Friday. 

All in all a time to be grateful and to re-evaluate what is the most important. 

Introducing Mary Tubaca, Libby's lifeline and arch nemesis. 

Doesn't matter where we are that tube can still be hooked up!  

The idea that I would be pulverizing my kids food and giving her bites of pudding and taters many times a day would have never occurred to me. It's funny how the amount of planning we do doesn't really matter because stuff happens and we adapt.  I am

Grateful for the ability to adapt.